Creative way to Layoff
Creative ways to Layoff
- Call everyone down for a firedrill and don’t let them go back.
- Convert all conf rooms as recruitment rooms, and call competitors for hiring. Charge them for every person hired.
- Take all for an offsite on a one way ticket
- Sell the office space overnight and leave city
- Sell the office space and rent back only half the space.
- Call all employees to a small room, tell them whoever cant make it inside the room will be out of the company.
- Get everyone is a room and tell them how one needs to be entrepreneurial to succeed. Then ask who all think they have the entrepreneurial spirit, ask all the people who raise their hand to leave and become and entrepreneur. Tell them the company does not trust them.
- For the remaning people, ask who are not happy with the salary. Now since they saw the others leave for being entrepreneurial, no one will raise the hand. Drop the salary to half and repeat the question. Repeat the exercise till you get enough majority. Then do what you did in the earlier point.
- Get everyone to attend a course on spirituality, get them to testify that they are not materialistic anymore. Then do any of above activities.
Party ?
It was a bright sunny morning, like the 364 out of 365 other sunny mornings in Chennai. It was the nice and warm
month of June in Chennai (for the people who dont know about chennai, this is the best month to come here to
appreciate the hardships in climate one can go through). We had just moved to Chennai after our marriage, and were
yet to get our car here. So the nice little walk till you find a “Superstar” Rickshaw wala is a the daily routine.
Our marriage was new and every morning walk in the heat did not feel much as we were still quite lost.
After a couple of rick guys showed us that we are the least imp people on mother earth, we finally got one to stop.
“Spencer plaza signal, right turn polama, Indian express terema ?” (These 3 phrases explained where we have to go).
If you dont understand Tamil, i was not swearing… “Tere ma” means “Do you know”. The same thing in Delhi can get
me killed.
After showing us that he does not understand, he finally looked at both of us and said
“Party”
I was puzzled, I explained the same thing all over again. He looked at my wife, and then me and smiled and said
“Party Sir, Party”
This started getting on my nerves. Now a lot of people in our offices were asking us for a party, and here we have
another one. I asked my wife “How does he know we are newly married ?”
She was more perplexed than I was. I looked back the Rick guy and raised my voice “Why are asking for Party? Why
should we give you Party ?” . He said he wont come for anything below that.
Bang ! there was the eternal truth… He would not come for thearty, but was ok if we gave him Party.
We excused ourselves from the Party, and started looking for the next rick, after having a good laugh offcourse.
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