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Arrival of Arjun 2
Normally Dhanashree never craves for an icecream when arjun is around. She is extremely particular about it. But that day was different. It was early october or so and we were at a mall close by. Arjun was at his crankiest best. He had had all the possible toy rides and running around. We were waiting near mcdonalds icecream parlour for Arjuns ride to get over.
Suddenly Dhanashree was at the counter buying an icecream. Looked odd for her to do that. I knew these are not normal circumstances. I asked her just through gestures on why she got herself an icecream?. She said she just couldnt resist.
I knew right then that she is pregnant.
I dint say anything.
Meanwhile Arjun saw her eat the icecream while he was still riding the car. He immediately wanted it as well… but his mother was too fast for him.
He started throwing tantrums…crying or rather howling.
We were the focus of the entire mall suddenly…primarily being percieved as ruthless heartless parents not giving icecream to a howling kid. Arjun, aged just about 3 then, decided to escalate the case to the security gaurd..only to get a small bite from the cone.
It took a long wait before we really got to know the part2 of our parenthood.
It was the month of May 13, sweltering heat of Mumbai and humidity in the air had made life a little uncomfortable.
We had decided to get the delivery done at Fortis hospital this time.
We got admitted on the 12th with preplanned arrangement of delivery on the 13th. Dhanashree showed exceptional composure this time around as if she exactly knew what coming her way. Without any stress…atleast without any visible stress.
All through her pregnancy she enjoyed her time..took all care like she always takes and was extremely positive.
At 8am on 13th, the auspicious day of Akshay tritiya, we were all ready. Post a lot of wait finally the call to go to the operation theater came at 9. I, my mother and Dhanashrees mother went along with her to the OT.
Once she went in we all went back to the room to wait impatiently.
I went back to the OT and waited outside. Dont remember how many times I kept asking the gaurd if the operation is through. He too like a skilled surgeon kept telling me exact time such as 20 mins more or 15 mins more.
Finally at about 1030 I saw a tiny baby strecher come out of the room. It had a beautiful baby, with eyes wide open looking intently out of the blanket. I tried to take pictures and record but I was so excited that pics came blurred and the recording was shaky.
The nurse dint say anything, she just opened the blanket to reveal that its Arjun Jr whom God almighty had blessed us with.
It took me some time to realise that I am now father of 2 boys… maan wonder what thats going to be like.
I remembered the first time I had seen Arjun. Just the same feeling. Awesome.
I softwords I told the newbie….”welcome to Kulkarni boys hostel sweetie” 🙂
Lets talk
Its typical of a boy. I know it. Family knows it. Everyone knows it. I was like that when I was small. Most or rather almost all boys are like that. I am talking about the natural tendency of boys of not sharing in detail what happened at school or at play etc.
I had taken Arjun for a competition to a nearby school. He and another 3 year old from the same school had been shortlisted for it. We reached om time. While parents sat on chairs in what seemed like play area for kids when the school would be on, both Arjun and Heer, the other kid from the same school, were taken in to classrooms which we did not have any view of.
Post half and hours wait Heer came out. She went straight to her mother who was sitting next to me. Within 5 minutes she told her everything about the competition…like what she painted, how many butterflies were there etc. In detail.
Then we kept waiting for Arjun. He came a good 20 mins later…looking at all possible things. First thing he said was “where is the frooty?” Apparently the last time he went for a competition they gave a frooty after coming out…now talk about mental conditioning!
Inspite of multiple requests he did not tell me what exactly happened inside. I made a passing remark to Heers mother saying “Arjun never tells us anything”…and we laughed off to our way home.
I am Arjun have a sort of very active conversation…by that I mean we have conversation only when we are doing an activity such as play cricket or play ‘maramari’…the conversation is only about the aactivity. It typically starts with one question…”baba, lets play cricket?” A high pitch super charged up question which doesnt know NO for an answer. Any number of NOs result in the question being repeated till you say YES. Then follows relentless war crys and victory shouts.
Later that night, Arjun came to me with a concerned face. He said in an elderly tone “Baba you say I do not talk to you. Come lets talk today”. I was pleasantly surprised and looked at Dhanashree who mirrored my emotion. Arjun had taken the feedback I passed on to him inadvertently very seriously. I said, “Sure Arjun, tell me”. The 3 year old said, “No Not here, lets sit there, at the window”.
I got up from the sofa and went to the 10 ft long window in our drawing room. We sat with our legs on either side of the window facing each other. Have seated now, I asked Arjun “So lets talk, tell me what you want to say”.
Suddenly Arjun went blank. While he had taken the feedback seriously, he did not know how to execute it. He looked out of the window, rolled his eyes and after a lot of thought, looked at me and said “Baba, lets play cricket ?”.
Needless to say, we spent next few minutes laughing our heart out, while Arjun kept wondering what happened. He had said what is always wanted to say.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Dance
6th Oct 2010It was one of those extremly tiring days at office. After leaving office at 9, did not expect to find traffic…but got caught it for sometime. Reached home, really tired and exhausted, with hardly any energy or willingness to talk. I rang the bell, to find Pritha(nieghbour 9yr old daughter) open the door. Arjun was sitting comfortably in his mothers lap, looking like he may sleep at any moment. Normally when i enter the house, not mater how tired i am, i shout with excitement looking at arjun and he feels really nice. Today was not such a day. I just entered and sat on the chair next to the door without the customary howls. Arjun looked at me, he was expecting me do it…but i dint. what he did next was unimaginable. He got up from his mom lap…put his two tiny arms in the air and started dancing…that too without music. It was a natural reaction of this 14month old, and so innocent at that. That very instant i forgot everything and a huge smile came on my face and i looked with sheer pleasure at my wife, who too was equally surpised. It gave me that injection of energy, making me feel nice and happy again. People say that kids are stress busters…not without a reason.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )First Friend
Baby Smiles
Its been a metamorphosis last couple of weeks. The reason has been the arrival of our bundle of joy – Arjun.
As a bachelor, and later and married person without kids, it was always a question mark… how would it feel to be a father. How do people take decisions like having a kid. How does one move to the next level in responsibility seemlessly.
Also, honestly speaking, as a person without children, one always gets bored when others start talking about thier kids. I had decided that I will never talk about my children and bore others (who while are smiling on the face, cannot empathise or understand you words).
However, post Arjun, talking about him helps me keep him close to me. It gives me the comfort, and somewhere i think if he also would be feeling good as someone is remembering him.
Today was a special day. I reached my in-laws place quite late. I had dinner and wanted to spend some time with Arjun. For some reason he was not happy today. He cried couple of times… and believe me its very difficult to hear him cry. It is just miraculous that someone crying can make parents wriggle in pain and want to do whatever they can to salvage the situation.
He was hungry, and Dhanu dutifully fed him. I took him in my arms. I sing some random songs now a days, and I assume he likes them. The fact is he does, as he smiles. Today, even though he was not too well, he started smiling everytime i sang a song. It was such an incredible feeling…someone responding to you so much at the age of 18 days.
I could not stop my eyes from getting wet as this was probably the first time I really felt that there is someone who is going to be playing with me, asking me questions, laughing at my jokes and sometimes bugging me for no reason. Its just like adding another friend in the company to do things you always wanted to do.
Now i have company to watch cricket matches, funny videos, Tom and jerry, marathi movies etc… just waiting for it now. 🙂
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 5 so far )Baby Arrives
Today was a memorable day, one of the most imp of days of my life, my wifes life. Today is when our first baby, Arjun was born. It has been a patient and impatient wait to see the glimpse of the Gods beautiful creation. Its like a fairly tale come true in so many ways…
9 months back, when i first came to know that I was going to be a father, honesty, I did break some sweat. But I blamed it on the hot climate :). The news took some time to sink, and to know that things have to change and improve for us to get a new life in this world.
Dhanashree, my wife, is an extremly patient, calm and collected person. While i was still struggling to pathom the situation, she exactly knew what she wanted. Its amazing that the nesting skills are so clear to the female of any species. We decided to improve our house, by have most suitable furniture designed as per our needs. There are no sharp edges, beds are huge to make sure a baby can sleep with us on it, the kitchen is well appointed with the most space saving stuff.
Just as we set our foot on this journey towards parenthood, things started going really bad in the industry. Worldwide turmoil, the layoffs in our companies and the changes in job profiles for both me and Dhanashree. Dhanu put up a brave face in adversity and took on herself to find a more satisfying job, where she would enjoy her work, there by making sure that the baby gets the best from his mother. We juggled with our time, worked hard, mostly unknowingly towards one single goal…. provide the best environment to the baby inside.
Dhanu got a good job, thanks to her hardwork even during the delicate initial few months. She was upfront about her pregnancy with the new company, but they were considerate enough to offer her with a decent hike anyway. But this new job meant that she had to travel longer. But having seen so many ups and downs by now, we knew how to face such situations and find a way out of it. We decided to let the car be with Dhanu throughout the day, with a driver to take her around. This worked quite well, as she could now focus more on her work. I fondly remember the days when i would stuff the car with a lot of food, which she would gobble down when caught in traffic jams.
Weekends were fun, with feeling the baby moves and thinking about what we would do when we become parents. We spent a lot of time looking for the name. But its really amazing that so many times, you finally pick what you liked at first sight itself. So while Arjun was an instant hit with both of us, we kept looking for a name which we like more… and there was none 🙂
Throughout the journey, Dhanu felt the pain, the anxiety, but never did she make it look obvious. Hat-off to you my love… !!!
All the memories of the hardwork, a lot more of my wifes than mine, went past my mind today. It had been a 9 month wait, and it was soon going to be all worth it.
We admitted Dhanu in the hospital yesterday, hoping against hope for a normal delivery. Reports increasingly supported a ceasorean delivery, and finally we decided to go ahead with it today morning.
The day was cloudy and dark, like most Mumbai Rain days. I had stepped out for some work, and when i was back, i found people already running around looking for me… and bang came the good news… “Mulaga zhala” (Marathi for “its a boy”). It was magical really to hear those words.
My mother came rushing wishing me … it took a few seconds for me to collect myself… it was one of the best moments of my life.
The we waited impatiently for the baby to come out. The baby came after a few minutes, and I was the first one to hold him. He was beautiful…thanks to the fact that most of his features are taken from him mother. He was already showing all kinds of emotions… mostly of a baby wanting to jump around and people restricting him… he made faces, he smiled, it was just miraculous.
Dhanu was still inside and we waited patiently for her to come. She came, all exhausted and eager to get the baby…
Very first time with mom
I read on the hospital wall… “A child gives birth to a mother” and the meaning just hit me. Dhanashree is now a mother, a sacred responsibility, which God chooses the time and person to give. While I was looking at both my loves, I got the best feeling of my life. It was then the meaning of a famous english phrase that struck me… “A child is the father of a man”…this seemingly meaningless play of words suddenly started to make too much sense !
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )Tips for career moves as you become senior
I got a all from a a very respected business house in the country, for a role in one of thier companies. The urgency in the voice was palpable. Thier understanding of my profile was not something to write home about though. The lack of clarity of the role they were planning to offer was as visible as effect of Taliban in Pakistan. I digged deeper on what exactly was that they were looking at, failing to get a concrete answer. Nevertheless, I was asked to come the very next day to meet a very senior person in the management committee (reporting to group CEO).
The lack of planning was surprising. I landed up for the interview which went on for an hour. I was told multiple times that the role is not defined and I will need to define the role myself. I wonder what they mean when they say that. There has to be some plan, when you are hiring some one at mid management level.
The interview went on well, and I was promised a meeting with other senior people in the organisation. I left the place not sure what exactly I got interviewed for. Anyways, in the evening my wife gave me the spark of speaking to a senior from my insti, who now run a placement consulting firm. And man…what a suggestion that was.
I spoke to him, and the clarity that emerged was eye-opening. I decided to put it up for your benefit.
There are 2 sides to any job…softer and harder. And as you become senior, the relative importance of the softer part has to go on increasing.
So what exactly is it ?
1. Softer aspects
a. Are you comfortable with the people you are speaking with
b. Are you comfortable with the company/culture/people in general
c. Do the people have clarity on what the job is
d. Do the people have clarity on what you are all about
e. Why do the people think you fit in
f. What is the plan for the business you are getting in to? What are the milestones ?
2. Harder Aspects
a. What is the salary ? how much is the jump ? Is it good enough ?
b. What is the position ? Is it better than current position? Will you next promotion here be faster than there?
c. How does career grow there ?
d. Who was doing the job before ? If not, why not ?
e. Where is he/she ?
f. Why is he/she moving ?
g. Has he been promoted or moved laterally
I told him I just got a call and I dint know the jd much. he said that’s not a good sign… he said a lot of companies are just testing waters… seeing what kind of candidates come over… also he said calling someone at a days notice happens, but they shud have managed it better…
Also I told him that they said it’s a something new they are starting… he was not very convinced and he said a lot of such openings fizzle out after couple of interviews…
True to what he said, after the urgent interview call, its been 3 days, and I have not heard from them again.
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Anand's thought book 